It seems like forever ago. Just a few months back I was at the barn one frosty afternoon in January. The snow on the roof of our metal riding arena was sliding off and making a racket. I was hand walking Milagro around the arena telling him there was nothing to worry about. Christmas music played on my i phone, and while we made a final loop we stopped and I snapped this picture of us in the mirror.
My biggest worry that day was the distraction of the sound of the sliding snow. It had been cold, too cold to ride, and on this particular day the temperatures had risen to the low 30's. It was my chance to sneak in a ride, and this distraction of the sound of the snow was putting a kink in my plans.
We rode, and the music helped, but being there alone I thought it was best to cut our ride short, to quit while we were ahead. I felt discouraged and cheated out of my favorite time spent. Milagro was a good sport, but I felt bad for both of us. It was just one of those days.
I came across the picture on my phone today while clearing out all the other old photos I have stored there. Snowy dog walks, ski days, drinks with friends. Candid selfies of big smiles with no worries or concerns. Pictures taken in another place in time, when life , lets just say, was taken for granted. When we could go about our days with such ease and delight.
This mixed bag of pictures has more meaning to me now, more than I could ever have imagined. Because what I see in them now, is life before Covid. Life before I couldn't see, touch or ride my horse. Life before we worried about the entire planet, much less the things that seem petty or trivial now. They all seem so distant and have no relevance to me now. While our world fights for its life, it just feels wrong to long for a day on the mountain, or in the saddle with Milagro.
But then I stop myself, because without that connection to our lives before Covid, what will root us and hold us still? What else is there to sooth our souls as we sit in quarantine day after day?
These pictures are a reflection of the moments that make us feel human, feel like we are all connected. These are the rocks and foundation that will get us through. So its OK for me to mourn these things. They are not petty or trivial, they are vital. Because they are what bring us all to a place of recognition of what it is that is truly at stake here.
Throw back Thursday. Today I go back to a time, not so long ago, when the world was simple yet beautiful. I know we will get there someday. And until I can see Milagro again, I will remember this day, and I will look forward to all the days ahead. Each one, a special, memorable moment, waiting to be lived.
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